Jolly Jokes

Got your own jokes that you’d like to share with us?

Knock, Knock

Who's there?
Hoo Who?
Are you an owl?

What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck?


What happens when you play Tug-of-war with a pig?

Pulled pork!

What do you call a bear without teeth?

A gummy bear!

What did the left eye say to right eye?

Something smells between us!

What goes up but never comes down?

Your age!

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honey combs!

Where do rabbits go after they get married?

On a Bunny-moon!

What kind of snake is good at math?

An adder!

What is the strongest animal?

A snail!

He carries his entire house on his back!

What do you give to a sick lemon?


Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course.

The Empire State Building can’t jump.

When you are looking for something, WHY do you always find it in the last place you were looking?

Because you stop looking when you have found it!

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little BOOGIE in it!

What do you give to a sick pig?


Why are elephants wrinkled?

Have you ever tried ironing one?

What does a kitten become after its 3 days old?

4 days old!

What did one flea say to the other?

Should we walk or take the dog?

Where do hamsters come from?


What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?


I couldn’t figure out why the ball kept getting larger,

Then it hit me!

How does the moon cut its hair?

E-clipse it!

What do snowmen eat for lunch?


Are you free tomorrow?

No, I'm expensive, sorry!

How do you communicate with a fish?

Drop it a line!

Why did the student eat his homework?

Because his teacher said it’s a piece of cake!

How do you make a lemon drop?

Just make it fall!

What was the first animal that went to space?

The cow!

It jumped over the moon!

Where would you find an elephant?

The same place you lost her!

What did one volcano say to the other volcano?

I lava you!

How do you get a squirrel to like you?

Act like a nut!

How are false teeth like stars?

They come out at night!

What did the nose say to the finger?

Quit picking on me!

How do you make an octopus laugh?

With ten-tickels!

What gets wetter the more it dries?

A towel!

What do you call a funny mountain?


Where do fish keep their money?

In the river-bank!

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

Because he couldn't see himself doing it!

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

Nacho cheese!

What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk!

What did the traffic light say to the car?

Don't look! I am about to change!

Why do we never tell pizza jokes?

They are too cheesy!

What do spiders love to attend?


What do you call a rabbit that tells jokes?

A funny bunny!

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Frosted flakes!

What did the cat say when he fell off the table?


What has 8 arms, 8 legs and 8 eyes?

8 Pirates!

Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle?

No, they both burn shorter!

Why does nobody talk to circles?

Because there's no point!

Why did the girl put her cake in the freezer?

She wanted to ice it!

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?


How do we know that the ocean is friendly?

Because it waves!

What building in your town has the most stories?

The library!

What does a cloud wear underneath his raincoat?


How do you throw a party in space?

You Plan-et!

Why aren't dogs good dancers?

They have 2 left feet!

Why are frogs always so happy?

Because they eat whatever bugs them!

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding HALF a worm in your apple!

If I had 9 oranges in one hand and 10 apples in the other hand, what would I have?

BIG hands!

Where do cows go on Friday nights?

They go to the moo-vies!

Why are fish so smart?

Because they live in schools!

What did the ocean say to the pirate?

Nothing, it just waved!

Why did the kid throw the clock out of the window?

Because he wanted to see time fly!

Why do some fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze!

Why do some people eat snails?

Because they don't like fast food!

What do you get if you cross a fish with an elephant?

Swimming trunks!

Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?

Because it's two-tired!

What starts with an E and ends with an E but only has one letter in it?

An Envelope!

What is fast, loud and crunchy?

A rocket chip!

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?

Where is Pop corn?

What is blue, green, red, yellow and purple?


Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Because she was stuffed!

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7,8,9!

Two blood cells met and fell in love.

Alas, it was all in vein!

What's small and cuddly and bright purple?

A koala holding his breath!

What day do fish hate?


What kind of animal goes OOM?

A cow walking backwards!

Why do pimples make horrible prisoners?

Because they keep breaking out!

What did the muffin say to the muffin tin?

Nothing, muffins can't talk.

Why can't you trust an atom?

Because they make up everything!

When do astronauts eat?

At launch time!

What is brown and sticky?

A Stick!

Why can't T-Rex's clap their hands?

Because they are extinct!

Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!

What kind of water cannot be frozen?

Hot water!

Why can't Elsa have a balloon?

Because she will let it go!

What falls in winter but never gets hurt?


What is a tornado's favorite game?


What do you call two birds in love?


What time is it when the clock strikes 13?

Time to get a new clock!

What do you think of the new restaurant on the moon?

The food was good but there was no atmosphere!

What do elves learn at school?

The elf-abet!

Why did the banana go to the Doctor?

Because it wasn't peeling well!

What type of award did the Dentist receive?

A little plaque!

What do you call an alligator with a vest?

An Investigator!

Why did the moon say she didn't want to eat?

She was FULL!

What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish?

This tastes funny!

Why can't Cinderella play soccer?

Because she is always running away from the ball!

What's blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint!

Why can't you tell a glass a joke?

It might crack up!

What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?

14 Carrot gold!

What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare-line!

Why didn't the skeleton go to school?

His heart wasn't in it!

What is the song cats like most?

Three blind mice!

Why did the snake cross the road?

To get to the other sssside!

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk!

Why was the math book sad?

Because he had too many problems!

What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

A coconut on vacation!

How do you talk to a giant?

By using BIG words!

How did the Scientist freshen her breath?

With an experi-mint!

Why did the kid take a ladder to school?

Because he wanted to go to high school!

Why couldn't the little pony sing?

She was a little horse!

What do you call an old snowman?


Why didn't the orange win the race?

He ran out of juice!

I've got a few jokes myself!

Sumbit a joke

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